This is fun! Are you using the ingredients? What are you creating?
This week’s ingredient is: Responsibility
Ooohhh, I know. This is something people have very strong feelings about and as I proof read this blog, it seems I’m one of them. LOL
I hear a lot of talk about how people are living as though they have no responsibility for what’s happening around them and it makes many of us frustrated. Somewhere along the line, some craziness seems to have made its way into our collective consciousness that says we can all have everything we desire by simply wishing for it, no one has any right to do to us anything we don’t like, and everyone else is at fault for everything we are unhappy with. YUCK!
You’ll hear me talking a lot about choosing now, but there was a time when I was stuck in this same sort of mentality. I believed that things were just happening to me and I could do nothing about them because they were somehow outside of me and my control. And let me tell you, unpleasant things seemed to flock to me in droves. I couldn’t get the education I desired because… I didn’t have the career I wanted because… My relationships were a mess because… My finances were in the toilet because… And every single one of those becauses pointed at someone else or something over which I had absolutely no control. It was everyone’s fault but my own and I wallowed in that, even regularly calling myself a “Sh*t Magnet” as though it was some sort of joke. People marvelled at how many difficult things were happening in my world and I wondered how and why one person could have so many challenges. Yes, I wondered why. Cute, huh?
So here’s the lesson for you. Nothing changed until I started to understand that everything was happening because of choices I was making. OMG did she just say that she was responsible for her life and everything that was happening? Yes ma’am (or yes sir), that’s exactly what I just said! One day, I just got tired. I got tired of living at the mercy of other people and circumstances. I decided that I didn’t want to keep singing the poor me song and to be honest, I got pissed! I’m a good person, I deserve better!! Why was I putting up with these people and circumstances that weren’t treating me well?
Long story short, I started to change things. I recognized what I was allowing and what I was creating that was making me a “Sh*t Magnet” and I started to reverse the polarity on that magnet. What feels good? I’ll have more of that please! What makes me happy? More of that please! Who makes me smile? More time with them please! What work makes me feel fulfilled? More of that too! Who is fun to work with? I’d like more of those people please!
When you are responsible for your life, you empower yourself to make different choices and create a space where something else can show up. So here’s the thing. We CAN all have what we desire, but we have to be willing to stop blaming or expecting it to just miraculously show up, take some responsibility and GO GET IT! No one owes you a thing. Your parents gave you life. They are not responsible for how you live it. If you don’t like how someone is treating you, change it or get away from them. If you don’t like your job, what would it take for you to find one you would love? Need more education? Go get it! Need more money? Go get it! Make peace with your past, make peace with yourself, and go get it!
And here’s the other truth – there is absolutely nothing fair about the world we live in. Sh*t does happen to good people every single day. Stop expecting people to treat you well and start to recognize who you’re surrounding yourself with and make changes where necessary. This person says mean things? Bye-bye! That person doesn’t pay you well and on time? Bye-bye! What are you tolerating that doesn’t honour you? And what could you create with the energy and space you’re currently wasting on those people and those situations?
Some will likely say I’m oversimplifying and if that’s your reality, I guess that’s your truth. When you get fed up enough to look in the mirror and realize you are responsible for your life and you are the only one who can change it, I hope you will realize that it really is that easy. All it takes for you to start to create a life that brings you what you desire is for you to own it. Good choices, bad choices. It’s all you. Own them, learn from them and move on. If you mess up, that’s ok! I still go there sometimes but now I know that I don’t have to stay there. I can say “Oops, there I go again.” figure out if I can change it or need to move away from it, and move forward.
What do you choose?