Oh, now this one is going to be fun to write! Hopefully it’s as much fun for you to read…
Your ingredient #24 is: Stir Things Up!
When was the last time you decided to change things up a bit? I have to admit, I get bored easily and I’m often starting to work on a new plan or project just to keep myself interested. Does that happen to you too? Routines are great for small children but I haven’t had a small child to worry about for a very long time. LOL
Here’s the thing. To me, life is all about change and growth. There is always something new to learn and experience and I’ve discovered that I have a somewhat adventurous soul. I have a longing to see and do and experience things I haven’t yet. How great is that?
Stirring things up doesn’t have to be dramatic, unless that’s what you need it to be. For some of us, taking a class might be a huge leap. Honestly, for some of us, wearing something that isn’t black or grey to work one day would qualify as a pretty big change wouldn’t it? The whole point is in getting out of whatever place you feel stuck in your life.
I’m currently working with this amazing group of women. (Three groups of amazing women actually.) This week in one of our sessions, we were talking about being in the space of having no choice. Here’s what it looked like for some of our members. “I have to do it or it doesn’t get done. I have responsibilities. I am the only one who cares. I am the only one who can/will take care of my children. If it’s going to get done, it’s me who has to do it…” Getting a feel for that space? Not much fun to be had there, hey? And it’s their truth, just like it’s the truth of many, many other women. And I am awed and amazed at the bravery it takes for us to speak our hard truths, especially when they’re ugly and raw because it’s when we get really honest with ourselves about the stories we tell ourselves that we can begin to change things. Exciting!!
So ladies, be honest, how many of us occupy that same space? Truth! I’ve lived there and sometimes find myself returning for a visit. Let’s look at it a bit more closely though. When we occupy that space, how much are we allowing other people to step up and be a contribution to us? Truthfully, unless you have toddler aged children, if they’re hungry, they can and will find something to eat especially if you put the appropriate snacks in places where they can find them easily. This particular space is really NOT about being the only person in the world who can do these things – because I promise you, you are NOT the only person in the world who can do these things – it’s really about feeling important and like we matter. And it can create dynamics that make others feel like they don’t.
Now, let’s just consider what could change if you were willing to break out of that space and occupy a different one. Perhaps something like, “I’m one of the leaders of my team and we work together to do what needs to be done. If I’m unable to do something, there is someone else who will step in and help take care of it. My children are loved and supported by my tribe and I am important beyond measure in their lives, but we can all teach and guide and help them grow into amazing adults.” How much different does that feel? Sounds like there would be a lot more cooperation, a lot less effort required, a lot more energy left over for… whatever you might like to add to your life. Maybe some fun, play, laughter?
Like everything else I write about, there is always a choice here. Maybe you like the Superwoman role and you’d rather stay in that space, and that’s ok. Maybe you’re tired of carrying the load of 10 people and didn’t know that you really don’t have to, and that’s ok too. Maybe your choice is about something completely different. It’s all good. Just as long as you’re getting clear and honest with yourself about whatever you’re choosing and not being the victim of the circumstances you’ve created (Yes, I said that.), choose whatever you like! For me, and this amazing group of women, I’m pretty sure we’re choosing something different than what we thought we had to do. Remember, the only “have to’s” are being born, breathing, and dying. Beyond that, everything else is a choice.
Have a great week, and until then, what do you choose?